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1.
We hoard cash To take along to the next world We don’t go out We’re saving up for the next world We choose the path of denial We see this world as a trial run We’d visit you But what will they say in the next world? Have no doubt We will be friends in the next world We’re just planning ahead so It’s always early to bed we go Throw on your weeds of woe This earthly life is nothing but a show We’re keeping meek and mild But in the next world that’s when we’ll go wild Too full-on How will you fare in the next world? Ambitious plans They do not count in the next world Some people always want their say But if you ignore them they’ll fade away Throw on your weeds of woe This earthly life is nothing but a show We’re keeping meek and mild But in the next world that’s when we’ll go wild  
2.
He went down to the garden when he felt riled He assaulted the plants that were growing wild The creeping buttercup He chopped every tendril up He went down to the garden when he felt riled He tortured the wilderness into shape Not a weed in the world had a chance to escape Tether-toad, devil’s guts Nothing left as he hacks and cuts He tortured the wilderness into shape It was spick And it was span It was all mapped out According to plan What was rank Was destroyed There was order But somewhere the joy Was left behind They’ve made Sunday the busiest day of the week All this furious mowing there’s no time to speak But during working hours The loudest things are flowers If you’re seen in the suburbs they call you a freak He went down to the garden when he felt riled
3.
I was working on my plan To strike it rich in Kazakhstan Find work as an uncompromising genius But the plan misfired And the Kazakhs sent me away I’ve being practicing my chops The amp’s turned on and never stops Relaying signals fashioned by my twiddling But the neighbours moan I’ll have to find another place where I can drone But watch out if you’re not a fan Cause I’ve been working on my plan I was walking in the shoes That gave me such a nasty bruise And trying to make my way back to the border Till I found there was an ocean in my way I’ve resigned myself to fate And Bruno’s unrelenting hate Sleeping in the garage of my brother-in-law But it can’t be long till I hit the charts Cause that’s how every movie starts The hero sticks it to the man So I’ve been working on my plan I was taking frantic notes On how to sow those wild oats The uncouth family friends were always talking about But the theory doesn’t always work that way Being a monk or being a drunk Or drumming for a Christian punk band Doesn’t look like there are many options left for me But I won’t despair, through the power of prayer Or the power of my creepy stare At least I’ll get to drive their van Yes I’ve been working on my plan
4.
Her suitors come and go they come and go They make the same mistakes For they do not know They all have too much life Her ideal partner wears a robe And holds a scythe Cause she’s in love with death It’s all she wants to know It’s all she thinks about It’s all she dreams about Her dates think chocolates or flowers The opera or Macbeth Or crystal meth No use when she’s In love with death Her parents wonder What they’re doing wrong She’s always writing Those depressing songs When they’re the ones with woes They’re losing stock as Down and down the market goes Now they’re in love with death It’s all they think about It’s all they talk about It’s all they dream about They’ve got the sleeping pills prepared From visits by the bank They’re feeling short of breath Now they’re in love with death
5.
What will I do with the song in my head Will none of these sentences ever be read Warden explains: pencil equals a year Record exec is guided by what his kids hear They need a gimmick A hymn to the great You should learn to keep silent And submit to your fate Do you fear for your sanity? Maybe there’s cause For those songs don’t belong in Feeble heads such as yours What will I do with the song in my head If the other kids notice me writing I’m dead Tear up the notebook and stab with the pen It’s happened before I don’t want it to happen again Chorus What will I do with the song in my head The neighbours complain if I so much as tread They can’t understand what I’m doing all day Music’s not work and you know it’s not going to pay Chorus
6.
I almost believed There was profit from madness And joy from dejection Good lessons from sadness Compared to the lies That they taught at School prison They praised manual labour The Lord who had risen And that wasn’t all I got wrong That wasn’t all I got wrong The architects told us Their sheds were artistic They’re great fun to live in If you’re masochistic This city is snarled In perpetual gridlock It goes on forever From rich block to poor block In the town that got everything wrong The town that got everything wrong It got the best grades For its standard of living A people so comfortable And unforgiving When hours to the west Lies a city much tougher That won’t make you feel You were put here to suffer In the town that got everything wrong The town that got everything wrong  
7.
I wouldn’t bother with you As just a friend But any sly intention Would probably end it What the hell am I supposed to do then I sidestep and pretend Waiting for the goddess to descend Once papier-mâché godheads Would emerge from above Solving such sordid problems As cashflow and love But now that there’s nothing or nowhere for the audience to spend We’re waiting for the goddess to descend I have gone through the ritual I’ve done all I can Laid out the lines and candles According to plan Now I must sit here in silence Hoping that soon this will end Waiting for the goddess to descend
8.
They don’t make them Like that anymore Oh he’s a hard case At his place Rest assured You won’t be bored No they don’t make them Like that anymore Oh he’s a real mate Damn straight He’s solid gold Once you’ve joined his fold And he’s old And he’s wise But I’ve seen the madness Lurking in his eyes With his dogs And his wine They can’t hide the fear Behind the healthy shine They don’t make them like that anymore We used to run wild They’re so mild They can’t be late for work They don’t make them like that anymore The liquor’s flowing It’s glowing A beacon in the murk Chorus No they don’t make them like that anymore No drinking swearing Or caring The puritans are back They don’t make them like that anymore But start your praying They’re saying He’s coming to attack With his dogs… And he’s old…
9.
Vodka Slide 03:01
We’re all going down the vodka slide Drink up Mind your heads And step inside We’re all going down the vodka slide Hold on Shut your eyes Enjoy the ride If you’ve lost direction You won’t meet with our rejection You are not the only one without a clue Bottles have been broken Brutal language has been spoken If you lose your entry token mine will do We’re all going down the vodka slide Drink up Mind your heads And step inside We’re all going down the vodka slide Hold on Shut your eyes Enjoy the ride It will take you far away Beyond the myth of Saturday Erase the memory of the daily grind Better than a holiday In Spain or Greece or Castor Bay You’ll find you travel further in your mind The lights go out across the park We've learned to hurtle through the dark And not to scream or otherwise complain We do not fear this endless rush Could churn our minds into a mush This world is not a playground for the sane We’re all going down the vodka slide Drink up Take your time Forget your pride We’re all going down the vodka slide Drink up…. Drink up 
10.
On the shortest day of the winter When the world got so painfully thin We couldn’t escape from this country That didn’t want to let us in They ask how are you going to support him? And who is going to protect her? And we hoped they won’t see past the lies That were told by the lie detector National insecurity They’d rather shut their eyes While liberty is burning up And freedom fries At the end of a red-alert decade That made sure we were always afraid They didn’t want us to let on About the mess that they had made They said it was done in our best interests For the sake of the common good That the worse they appeared, the better they were So the enemy misunderstood National insecurity We’re scared out of our skins Better keep one bad person out Than let a thousand good ones in
11.
What do I do if I drop? Don’t drop Only son What do I do if I fail? Don’t fail Only son You’re the one We’re counting on The snares are laid The nets are skewed We cannot feel Your gratitude What do I do if I crack? Don’t crack Only son What do I do if I break? Don’t break Only son You made this life All on your own Your frame is warped Your mind is blown You’ll have to face This one alone What do I do if I stop? Don’t stop Only son You’re a mess You’ve come undone We’ve prodded you To reap the crop You’ll have to run Until you drop
12.
She's Green 02:41
Alone at the end of the pier You were safely packed away They thought you’d be less trouble Trapped down here A deserted resort Where you cannot be caught Alone at the end of the week With the silence all around You can hear the statue start to speak The Victorian Queen In her corpulent green I greet you my far-flung dominion Did we need you at all I lose track of our conquests You’re not India We export snobbery And you work in our bars They know that their empire is gone Still imperial values somewhere somehow sometimes linger on Every coin that you flip Every bill you can’t rip She’s green and she’s always in mourning With a mean queen like that How could you not feel awkward He’s on Albert Street She’s on Victoria Street They’ll become one on Queen

credits

released February 9, 2020

Produced, recorded, mixed & mastered by Bichan

Cover design by Asa Marsa

Simon Patterson and the Bichan Orchestra

Creeping Buttercup

1 The Next World
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices
Doctor Don - electric guitar
Bichan - drums, drum loop programming, tambourine, bass guitar, rhythm guitar, eBow guitar chords, slide guitar, synthesizer & keyboards

2 Creeping Buttercup
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices
Doctor Don - electric guitars
Pavel Borisov - bass guitar
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - organ, background voices

3 Working on My Plan
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices
Grigory Patterson - background voice
Vasily Patterson - background voice
Oleg Perfilyev - drums
Andrey Kulyomin - keyboards and synthesizers
Bichan - bass guitar, electric guitars, keyboards, background voices, sample treatments and manipulation

4 In Love with Death
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar, background voices
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - bass guitar, baritone guitar, electric guitars

5 Song in My Head
Simon C. Patterson - voice
Doctor Don - electric guitar, slide guitar
Pavel Borisov - bass guitar
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - eBow guitar chords


6 The Town that Got Everything Wrong
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar
Alexey P. Zubarev - electric guitars
Pavel Borisov - bass guitar
Denis Luchin - drums

7 Waiting for the Goddess to Descend
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar
Bichan - cello

8 They Don't make them like that anymore
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar, background voices
Doctor Don - electric guitars
Pavel Borisov - bass guitar
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - organ

9 Vodka Slide
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices
Andrey Kulyomin - keyboards and synthesizers
Bichan - drums, bass guitar, electric guitars

10 National Insecurity
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices
Pavel Borisov - bass guitar
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - electric guitars, piano, synthesizers

11 What do I do if I drop?
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - bass guitar, electric guitars, organ

12 She’s Green
Simon C. Patterson - voices, acoustic guitar, background voices
Pavel Borisov - bass guitar
Denis Luchin - drums
Bichan - eBow guitar chords, electric guitar, mellotron

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Simon Patterson and the Bichan Orchestra Auckland, New Zealand

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