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1.
Nothing happens in the town where I live Everything’s under control Feel the music in the town where I live Sounds of mowers ease your soul As they’re steadily losing the fight To remain so insanely polite Aren’t they scared that the terrible strain Could well drive them politely politely insane Going jogging in the town where I live Keep that body mass in check Dolphin-friendly in the town where I live Shoot flesh-eaters in the neck With a nose for a sexist text You have given each author a blot I wonder what you’re planning next You’ll say each of my songs is a chauvinist plot Join the rally in the town where I live Throw the books into the fire Nothing happens in the town where I live Seems a nice place to retire
2.
I would not worship sport They threw their chains around me Made me take rugby vows And swear an oath on tennis court I would not worship sport They would hear no good of me I had condemned my soul Because I could not bat or bowl With the legend of laziness dogging his days He was every school’s dream of a kid to haze Made him swim in the mud and they pissed on his books Just something ‘bout the way he looks But I’ve seen cricketers And they were thwarted in their prime Their passion came to naught Led to believe that sport was crime By wives who did not worship sport And only worshipped money And now they’ve all lost out I will not watch the news report Cause the newsreader beat up my friends after class And the local MP used to kick my ass In the midst of the scrum at the school of hard knocks They learnt to think outside the box
3.
When there’s chili oil on your contact lens And the toothpaste stings your throat The computer says you lost half your friends And there’s gum stuck to your coat O don’t despair that life’s not fair This could be a job for Pedro the Great You waste half your time at the scenes of crimes While detectives are making you wait And you’re out of gas or you’re out of rhymes All you want is a new clean slate Don’t complain he can feel your pain This could be a job for Pedro the Great You’re wasting and waiting You’re trying his patience He’s dying to find you He’s sending his agents They're blaming the season They're calling it treason And this is the reason We’re making a call Making us a call to Pedro the Great When the village buys you a round of drinks With the cash from the beards that you tax And the boat you built at the weekend sinks Don’t forget to keep sharpening your axe Cause it’s quite fine not to stay in line This could be a job for Pedro the Great
4.
The Manager 03:36
He said he’d manage Said he’d hold it all together Now he’s hanging From the end of his tether He’s off sulking Barely coping Cause he can’t manage this And he can’t manage that But they’ve put him in charge And they’ve passed him the hat O the devil’s a charmer A suave dapper gent And his watchword watchword Is management The highly successful Don’t share their habits with the masses They vent their hot air But they conserve their noble gases Now he’s learning The lessons that he didn’t Get from the lectures for his MBA For they didn’t prepare him to work here today O the devil’s a charmer A suave dapper gent And his watchword watchword Is management
5.
He was cursed with the stroke of good luck Meant he never learnt from a single mistake Didn’t matter how insane he behaved himself Next morning he’d always awake The future held no fear And living in the now was not built to last He was more concerned for the night before And his unpredictable past But in his favour He had a Pegasus licence When he called his friends to pick him up They inquired are you still alive And isn’t it time you got a car He said poets do not drive There was a poet called Vincent Voiture But he was born before the revolution I’m revving up my flying horse I’ve found a quick solution It’s my saviour Got my Pegasus licence
6.
Anniversary 02:50
Anniversary I’m always dreading Cause they’ll all know the year I was born in Anniversary is it a wedding Go without me for I won’t be drawn in Is it calico or bone? Will I spend the entire year alone? Fit for an emperor king or a pharaoh I would change all this gold to return to year zero Anniversary I’m always waiting For the bells to grow tired of their chiming Every year brings a new style of hating And the dates are so cruel with their timing Is it paper pearl or lace? Do the numbers fill an empty space? Blows out the candles if he spits far And 83 means a second bar mitzvah Anniversary darkness is spreading But I’m wheeled out to prove life’s eternal Anniversary I’m always dreading As the gateway to suffering infernal As a tear appeared in every eye Tributes poured in from the men who watched my brother die But next birthday they’ll say I’ve pulled a fast one By outliving them all and I fear it will not be the last one
7.
I Love the Law I love the law And if you ask me yes but why what for When you’ve been working this hard you don’t need a reason I’m simply sure It made me sore to think of working there forever poor Time to buy out the people who I used to slave for In the hardware store I never understood how this great nation Was built on countless tomes of loopy legislation But now I’ve finally found my true vocation I’m learning them by heart I love the law I love the law And if you ask me yes but why what for When you’ve been working this hard you don’t need a reason I’m simply sure Before the game my father swore Better win this one or there’ll be war And I adopt his sporting spirit every time I throw those robes on And take the floor No I don’t need the kind of education That breeds that unemployed and erudite frustration Strange how the most strident social critic Will usually be society’s most parasitic Ought to be a law against them all I love the law And if you ask me yes but why what for When you’ve been working this hard you don’t need a reason I’m simply sure I love the law I’ll fight this case for you with tooth and claw But if we lose then you can rot in prison Cause that’s the law
8.
Meet the lord of sneer He lets no one near And he snorts at caring lovers Manners get short shrift Doesn’t practice thrift Though he praises it in others Before the swine had taken over Before the hogs had seized the day We knew the dangers we were facing We knew the options in our way Now the sausage king Has us trembling With his confident dismissal Of all grace and charm Says it does to harm To eat daily pounds of gristle Chorus Writing on the wall Should have told us all About the way that things were going 1389 1488 The graffiti of a war zone  
9.
Cement 03:40
That man who always on our TV Likes to talk about stability Wish that I knew what he meant Thought your words were written in cement I wandered through this sweaty town to find you The tar was wet the cars were all on fire The shoulder of the woman at the bus stop Emblazoned with the Chinese for desire It will not last for flesh is not cement We’ll swear to give up the booze If statesman kick the habit of the ooze That spurts out of the ground But we should learn from our government They built a city all out of cement Where grass cannot be found We kissed beside the stacks of bricks and concrete This building site’s a home to cats and ghosts The black stuff doesn’t buy you what it used to We’re sick and tired of presidential boasts He’d look good with cement up to his neck Thought we had something happening here Thought the words you said to me my dear Were written in cement
10.
Do you have the nerve To fight for your advertising agency Enlist in the copywriters’ infantry Go out hunting heads Do you have the nerve To write down the good news for governments When they put nails in the butter vats And glass in the eggs Do you have the nerve Do you have the guts To always nod your head Forgetting ifs and buts If you have the nerve And if you have the urge To trample all the rest You might survive the purge Do you have the nerve To battle your fellow employees But if the management calls for it To die for the cause Do you have the nerve To be so goddamn impossible To crown yourself corporate cannibal The lord of the bores Do you have the nerve Do you have the drive To always be the first You might come out alive If you have the nerve And if you have the urge To trample all the rest You might survive the purge
11.
They like Nothing And they come round to your house To make sure you like nothing too They despise Slacking And they’re always making sure That you’ve got lots of chores to do In the golden age Of mind control When they clip your wings And they slash your soul They proscribe Thinking If they catch you sitting still You’ll get a number in their book Those cold eyes Watching They can take the measure of your spirit With a single look In the golden age Of mind control When they clip your wings And they slash your soul First verse Chorus In the golden age Of mind control
12.
Kupchino 04:30
Kupchino I spent the last year and a half Behaving politely Practising my corporate laugh I learnt to suffer fools lightly This suit - it cannot tie me down Take it off, they won’t shoot me You’re fired doesn’t mean go and die And this tie doesn’t suit me Now it is time to get out Throw that suit in the furnace Get on the next train down To Kupchino The buildings grow high They tore out the trees We can’t see the sky In Kupchino The rats fled this place They chewed through the walls Abandoned the race They’ve found a new town And planted a crop It’s growing there growing there growing there I cannot bring myself To kneel to my betters But am I strong enough To gnaw through these fetters? Cognac, cigars at the club Or beer by the bus stop I’m sick of life at the top But it’s so hard to give up Mud is a balm for the soul But my shoes are so shiny They might get dirty In Kupchino The concrete and mud You need a good dose Not to hate your own blood In Kupchino The cigarette air It cleanses your lungs And rinses your hair As soon as I’m fired I swear to you all I’m going there going there going there
13.
Hidden Track 02:55
14.

credits

released December 12, 2017

All songs written by Simon C. Patterson.

Arranged, recorded, mixed and produced by Kolya Bichan at TS Recording Studio, Russia, Saint-Petersburg.

Mastered by Andrew Oliyanchuk

Cover design by Asa Marsa

1. Town Where I Live

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitars
Andy Goo - background voices
Kolya Bichan - drums, bass guitar, organ, electric guitars, eBow guitar

2. I Would Not Worship Sport

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar
Kolya Bichan - percussion programming, treatments, synthesiser

3. Pedro The Great

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar
Kolya Bichan - percussion programming, bass guitar, treatments, synthesiser

4. The Manager

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric piano
Kolya Bichan - percussion programming, organ bass, electric guitars, treatments

5. Pegasus License

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, acoustic guitar
Kolya Bichan - electric guitar, eBow guitar

6. Anniversary

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric guitar
Kolya Bichan - drums, percussion, bass guitar, organ, electric guitars

7. I love The Law

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, background voices, electric guitar
Stanislav Manchinsky - background voices
Nikolay Novikov - electric guitars
Kolya Bichan - drums, bass guitar

8. Before The Swine

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, digital piano
Kolya Bichan - organ bass, organ

9. Cement

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric guitar
Kolya Bichan - drums, bass guitar, eBow guitars

10. Do You Have The Nerve

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric guitar
Kolya Bichan - drums, percussion, drum and percussion programming, bass guitar, synthesiser

11. The Golden Age of Mind Control

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, digital piano
Kolya Bichan - drum and percussion programming, bass guitar, electric guitars, background voices

12. Kupchino

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric guitar
Stanislav Manchinsky - background voices
Kolya Bichan - drums, percussion, bass guitar, synthesisers, organ

13. Hidden Track

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric guitar
Kolya Bichan - drums, treatments

14. You Can Go Now

personnel:
Simon C. Patterson - voice, electric guitar
Kolya Bichan - percussion programming, bass guitar, organ, electric guitar, background voices, treatments

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Simon Patterson and the Bichan Orchestra Auckland, New Zealand

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